I'M NOT CHEAP!!!!!!

I got this title off my dear friend, Nneka Ugwu, who made a very short, precise and succinct point on her Facebook page days ago. And it kept on resonating in my spirit with some thoughts I've had for quite a while. It kept tugging at certain questions on my mind...

Why do I opt for suicide instead of finding a way out, even if it means pushing myself beyond my limits? Why do I feel intimidated by colleagues at work who may possess certain educational certificates more than I do? Why am I afraid of what others may or could say about me simply because I don't (yet) have what they do...a house, car, "good" job or business, a good husband or wife, and so on? Why do I constantly allow people to push me around based on my lack of certain "achievements"? Why do I allow myself to be caged or locked up in a box? Why do I allow myself to either be a negative talking point or a constant laughing stock?

The answer is really pretty easy actually...I don't see value in myself and so allow others to treat me like I really have no value!

Yet, in truth, I am very valuable! And I am surrounded by greatness because of what I possess! That I do not presently notice it or realize it does not make it any different. Listen, everyone of us carry something valuable. We all carry something unique. In fact, it is because we are individually different that we are all valuable. No one can be like you and if the other person carries something of value, my friend....so do you!

The fact that you may seem inconsequential to others does not mean that you're not valuable. In fact, your own ability to notice your own value far outweighs whatever anyone else may think. It's simply a thought they carry about you, not what they  know about you.

Your value isn't measured by what people say about you but by what level of your mind you've been able to mine out. Yes, your mind carries so much good stuff that it'll amaze you what you can accomplish with it. Your mind has a capacity that cannot be measured by anyone yet can be positively expressed by you from time to time. No one can measure the quality of your mind but they certainly cannot deny the expressions of quality it exudes when you take out quality time yourself to work it and mine it for yourself.

The quality of your mind is actually the quality of your life! And I'm not just talking of going to school only; that is very important, yes. But beyond school, your ability to exercise your mind to the point where it begins to offload certain virtues for you is the greatest good you can ever do for yourself. If it were only about going to school, I can personally name a few Masters holders or professors that I know whose line of thinking will literally push you into horror mode!

The life we live here on earth is all about being able to give and receive value. And that value resides inside our minds. The day people begin to perceive and see the value you carry, whatever initial thoughts of disrespect they were harbouring before can be turned around. Besides, people will always pay for good value, and if you're the one carrying it you're sure you'll get paid for your brilliant mind!

You are not cheap...so stop feeling unduly sorry for yourself and instead make a commitment to get out of your present predicament. And you can do so too. But you must first of all realize your own uniqueness and try to mine out the value you carry.

I have said my own. The question for you now is this.....Are you cheap?

You really should take out some time to pause and ponder on this for a while.

PROVE THEM WRONG!!!

Everybody has an opinion....

About what they think is proper or improper; about who the best footballer on the planet is; about who the best actors or actresses in the world are; about what they consider is the best car in the world; or the best way to dress; or the best TV show on cable network; or the best colour or colour combinations; or the best features a husband or wife must have; or what a perfect gentleman or lady should look like; or what the perfect job or business must contain to make them worthwhile. The list, in truth, is awesomely endless.

And there's nothing you can do about people's opinion. 

But what do you do when people carry opinions about you that you know aren't at all correct, right or even true? Especially when they tend to affect your relationship with others, be they individuals, a group or even an organisation? 

In my own opinion (now I am laughing), you need to prove them wrong!!!!

By proving them wrong, I am not asking you to spill your blood so that they will see that you aren't what they profess you may be. You may need to spill some blood but that is only if there is a necessity for that. You must understand that everyone's position on any matter is simply a matter of perception, and their perceptions is what drives their reality. And for as long as their perceptions remain, so will their reality and so will their view concerning you. If it must change, you have to do something to change their perceptions.  You need to provide certain proofs that you're not what they say you are, that you're more than they think you're worth. 

Sometimes, even after you've delivered enough proofs to change such perceptions, some people will still deliberately refuse to change their views. But it really doesn't matter much because I've come to realise that the best way to answer critics is to simply improve yourself and deliver very well on an expectation.

If I say am good at something and someone else disagrees, what do I do? I simply deliver on what I say am good at. If I say I can cook and you disagree, all I need to do is deliver a very good meal cooked inside my own kitchen by me. If I say I can dance and you disagree, all I need to do is show you my moves. If I say I can administer an office or lead a people and you disagree, all I need to do is show my prowess administering the small office or leading the small group of people I may have the privilege of being in charge of. And for me, the proof of the pudding must be in the eating as I must do all of them very well to the point where there will no longer be any arguments.

So, learn and improve yourself.

This line of thought reminds me of my teenage years back in college. Being a football enthusiast and also one who believed in the little skills I had been blessed with, I so much wanted to play for the college football team. I dreamed of donning the team's jersey and never failed to always talk about it to everyone who cared to listen. I was sure I could be one of the stars of the junior team and eventually go on to also be a star of the senior team as well. However, one fateful day, a member of the football team whom I even thought was a friend, seriously castigated me and declared publicly that I could never make that team when all I could even offer was akin to nursery school football!

I was laughed at, teased and insulted and I lost hope. I stopped going for training and always hid away from the boys because I didn't want all that embarrassment they always gave me. And that was despite the fact that I knew I could play football.

It took another friend of mine to jolt me back into reality. He simply told me that it was their opinion and not the reality; but that it would be my reality if I let their opinion rule. He told me to just up my game and improve in the areas that I was deficient in. I had to take my time to rebuild my game. Weeks later I was back in training and still being teased. Months later I was actually in that team and even benched the very person who made those insulting comments about me! And guess what, he never got his place in the team back because a better player (me..that is) had shown up! 

If you won't believe my own story, then believe that of Juan Mata of Chelsea FC! He temporarily lost his place in the squad but kept his head, learned what he should, discovered what he needed to do or improve in his game and his coach recalled him to the squad. In fact, even his national team coach also recalled him back into the side for the World Cup qualifiers.

People will always say what they want about you, but the rest is up to you.

Do kindly pause and ponder a bit on this....

DARE THE GIANTS!!!!!

This life is very intriguing, you know. It's a life filled with adventures, forgettable and unforgettable experiences, and with fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams.

Nobody can ever swear with certainty that they have a perfect life; no, not on this planet. An excellent life, maybe, but not perfect. And you know why? Because there are giants to overcome at different steps of the way of our lives and that's just how life is.

Whether we like it or not, we will always have different giants to face. Health challenges from time to time, challenges on the job, businesses to manage, people of different characters and dispensations to lead, bills to pay, enemies to face, obstacles against our many aspirations, etc. But we should not really be afraid about them because in truth giants still die!

So why do these giants despite their own vunerability always come against us? Here are the reasons:

1.   To oppress us

2.   To harass us

3.   To distress us

4.   To distract us.

And they, for sure, are certainly doing a very good job at it, especially when we give room to them. Every giant, though, is surmountable and can be brought down permanently to its knees. But for that to happen we all need to know and understand a few things...

If your giants must go down, you have to face them head-on

Every giant has its weak spot. Look for it and tackle it, just as that giant is looking for your weak spot to distress you. You cannot successfully confront your own giant without the help of proper knowledge that puts you in very good stead to take it down.

Guess what? Every giant is mostly there to announce you. There's no way after you defeat a giant that you won't come out famous in one way or another.

And the killing of one giant leads to the liberation of many other people. Once you succeed, others see your victory and then realise it is also possible for them. It brings great belief in them that they also can face and bring down the giants facing them.

We must learn to face those troubles that constantly stand before us and give us unnecessary headaches and pains otherwise we may never have relief from them. And no matter how big they are, they are very much beatable.

So, learn and practice daring your giants for you really have what it takes to bring them down. For in truth some giants really are not as strong as they seem on the outside but you never know until you face them.