I'M NOT CHEAP!!!!!!

I got this title off my dear friend, Nneka Ugwu, who made a very short, precise and succinct point on her Facebook page days ago. And it kept on resonating in my spirit with some thoughts I've had for quite a while. It kept tugging at certain questions on my mind...

Why do I opt for suicide instead of finding a way out, even if it means pushing myself beyond my limits? Why do I feel intimidated by colleagues at work who may possess certain educational certificates more than I do? Why am I afraid of what others may or could say about me simply because I don't (yet) have what they do...a house, car, "good" job or business, a good husband or wife, and so on? Why do I constantly allow people to push me around based on my lack of certain "achievements"? Why do I allow myself to be caged or locked up in a box? Why do I allow myself to either be a negative talking point or a constant laughing stock?

The answer is really pretty easy actually...I don't see value in myself and so allow others to treat me like I really have no value!

Yet, in truth, I am very valuable! And I am surrounded by greatness because of what I possess! That I do not presently notice it or realize it does not make it any different. Listen, everyone of us carry something valuable. We all carry something unique. In fact, it is because we are individually different that we are all valuable. No one can be like you and if the other person carries something of value, my friend....so do you!

The fact that you may seem inconsequential to others does not mean that you're not valuable. In fact, your own ability to notice your own value far outweighs whatever anyone else may think. It's simply a thought they carry about you, not what they  know about you.

Your value isn't measured by what people say about you but by what level of your mind you've been able to mine out. Yes, your mind carries so much good stuff that it'll amaze you what you can accomplish with it. Your mind has a capacity that cannot be measured by anyone yet can be positively expressed by you from time to time. No one can measure the quality of your mind but they certainly cannot deny the expressions of quality it exudes when you take out quality time yourself to work it and mine it for yourself.

The quality of your mind is actually the quality of your life! And I'm not just talking of going to school only; that is very important, yes. But beyond school, your ability to exercise your mind to the point where it begins to offload certain virtues for you is the greatest good you can ever do for yourself. If it were only about going to school, I can personally name a few Masters holders or professors that I know whose line of thinking will literally push you into horror mode!

The life we live here on earth is all about being able to give and receive value. And that value resides inside our minds. The day people begin to perceive and see the value you carry, whatever initial thoughts of disrespect they were harbouring before can be turned around. Besides, people will always pay for good value, and if you're the one carrying it you're sure you'll get paid for your brilliant mind!

You are not cheap...so stop feeling unduly sorry for yourself and instead make a commitment to get out of your present predicament. And you can do so too. But you must first of all realize your own uniqueness and try to mine out the value you carry.

I have said my own. The question for you now is this.....Are you cheap?

You really should take out some time to pause and ponder on this for a while.

PROVE THEM WRONG!!!

Everybody has an opinion....

About what they think is proper or improper; about who the best footballer on the planet is; about who the best actors or actresses in the world are; about what they consider is the best car in the world; or the best way to dress; or the best TV show on cable network; or the best colour or colour combinations; or the best features a husband or wife must have; or what a perfect gentleman or lady should look like; or what the perfect job or business must contain to make them worthwhile. The list, in truth, is awesomely endless.

And there's nothing you can do about people's opinion. 

But what do you do when people carry opinions about you that you know aren't at all correct, right or even true? Especially when they tend to affect your relationship with others, be they individuals, a group or even an organisation? 

In my own opinion (now I am laughing), you need to prove them wrong!!!!

By proving them wrong, I am not asking you to spill your blood so that they will see that you aren't what they profess you may be. You may need to spill some blood but that is only if there is a necessity for that. You must understand that everyone's position on any matter is simply a matter of perception, and their perceptions is what drives their reality. And for as long as their perceptions remain, so will their reality and so will their view concerning you. If it must change, you have to do something to change their perceptions.  You need to provide certain proofs that you're not what they say you are, that you're more than they think you're worth. 

Sometimes, even after you've delivered enough proofs to change such perceptions, some people will still deliberately refuse to change their views. But it really doesn't matter much because I've come to realise that the best way to answer critics is to simply improve yourself and deliver very well on an expectation.

If I say am good at something and someone else disagrees, what do I do? I simply deliver on what I say am good at. If I say I can cook and you disagree, all I need to do is deliver a very good meal cooked inside my own kitchen by me. If I say I can dance and you disagree, all I need to do is show you my moves. If I say I can administer an office or lead a people and you disagree, all I need to do is show my prowess administering the small office or leading the small group of people I may have the privilege of being in charge of. And for me, the proof of the pudding must be in the eating as I must do all of them very well to the point where there will no longer be any arguments.

So, learn and improve yourself.

This line of thought reminds me of my teenage years back in college. Being a football enthusiast and also one who believed in the little skills I had been blessed with, I so much wanted to play for the college football team. I dreamed of donning the team's jersey and never failed to always talk about it to everyone who cared to listen. I was sure I could be one of the stars of the junior team and eventually go on to also be a star of the senior team as well. However, one fateful day, a member of the football team whom I even thought was a friend, seriously castigated me and declared publicly that I could never make that team when all I could even offer was akin to nursery school football!

I was laughed at, teased and insulted and I lost hope. I stopped going for training and always hid away from the boys because I didn't want all that embarrassment they always gave me. And that was despite the fact that I knew I could play football.

It took another friend of mine to jolt me back into reality. He simply told me that it was their opinion and not the reality; but that it would be my reality if I let their opinion rule. He told me to just up my game and improve in the areas that I was deficient in. I had to take my time to rebuild my game. Weeks later I was back in training and still being teased. Months later I was actually in that team and even benched the very person who made those insulting comments about me! And guess what, he never got his place in the team back because a better player (me..that is) had shown up! 

If you won't believe my own story, then believe that of Juan Mata of Chelsea FC! He temporarily lost his place in the squad but kept his head, learned what he should, discovered what he needed to do or improve in his game and his coach recalled him to the squad. In fact, even his national team coach also recalled him back into the side for the World Cup qualifiers.

People will always say what they want about you, but the rest is up to you.

Do kindly pause and ponder a bit on this....

DARE THE GIANTS!!!!!

This life is very intriguing, you know. It's a life filled with adventures, forgettable and unforgettable experiences, and with fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams.

Nobody can ever swear with certainty that they have a perfect life; no, not on this planet. An excellent life, maybe, but not perfect. And you know why? Because there are giants to overcome at different steps of the way of our lives and that's just how life is.

Whether we like it or not, we will always have different giants to face. Health challenges from time to time, challenges on the job, businesses to manage, people of different characters and dispensations to lead, bills to pay, enemies to face, obstacles against our many aspirations, etc. But we should not really be afraid about them because in truth giants still die!

So why do these giants despite their own vunerability always come against us? Here are the reasons:

1.   To oppress us

2.   To harass us

3.   To distress us

4.   To distract us.

And they, for sure, are certainly doing a very good job at it, especially when we give room to them. Every giant, though, is surmountable and can be brought down permanently to its knees. But for that to happen we all need to know and understand a few things...

If your giants must go down, you have to face them head-on

Every giant has its weak spot. Look for it and tackle it, just as that giant is looking for your weak spot to distress you. You cannot successfully confront your own giant without the help of proper knowledge that puts you in very good stead to take it down.

Guess what? Every giant is mostly there to announce you. There's no way after you defeat a giant that you won't come out famous in one way or another.

And the killing of one giant leads to the liberation of many other people. Once you succeed, others see your victory and then realise it is also possible for them. It brings great belief in them that they also can face and bring down the giants facing them.

We must learn to face those troubles that constantly stand before us and give us unnecessary headaches and pains otherwise we may never have relief from them. And no matter how big they are, they are very much beatable.

So, learn and practice daring your giants for you really have what it takes to bring them down. For in truth some giants really are not as strong as they seem on the outside but you never know until you face them.

RAISE YOUR GAME

This life does not stand still.

Ask time. 

There is constant movement all the time. We all go to sleep and wake up to face a new day. And when we wake up into the new day, we all hope for a perfect today than it was yesterday. We expect our lives to be perfect. We expect our jobs to be perfect. We expect our businesses to be perfect. We expect our marriages and families to be perfect.We expect our aspirations all to be perfect. We expect our clothes and meals to be perfect. Hmmm. We all love perfection.

Unfortunately, perfection in this life really doesn't exist. If it did then there would be no need to want more; to want an increment in one's salary or one's business profits; there would be no need to look forward to a new day with expectations of something better happening, to my relationships being better, etc. What we can best attain is excellence. And excellence, like my worthy mentor Pastor GoodHeart Ekwueme would say, is simply the next level. Pushing the boundaries of our present circumstances a little bit in order to get something better from them. So, in reality, what we seek is an excellent life, an excellent job or business or marriage or family or aspiration. And to achieve that, we need to all push ourselves a little further and harder; we need to all raise our game.

Why is that so?

Because raising our game takes us up a notch higher the ladder of excellence and improves our lives one step at a time. It's the reason why we have celebrated and iconic institutions like Coca-Cola, Pepsi, McDonald's, Google, Apple, DHL, Microsoft, Facebook, Samsung, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Denzel Washington, Al Pacino, Hollywood, the English Premier League, the UEFA Champions League and many more just too much to mention. Oh....plus including me o!!!!! And don't laugh because I am an iconic person and an institution about to explode on to the scene in the very near future!!!!

Raising your game doesn't come by wishing it though, it comes by stretching your mind a little bit more than usual. Yes, for you to give your life a boost, you need to give your mind a push. You don't wish your next level, you think your way into it. And as you think of creative ways to move your life, organisation or relationship forward, you find yourself eager to push yourself into action. You can't face tomorrow with yesterday's thoughts and strategies. In fact, if you try to solve today's problems with yesterday's answers, you'll be gone tomorrow.

You can't afford to be complacent at your present level, even if you seem to be doing well in your own eyes. The problem with complacency is that it makes you too comfortable in the old. And when you become too comfortable in the old, you naturally do whatever you think is necessary to protect it. And don't forget, life does not stand still. There are many others doing all they can to improve their lot and possibly beat you to the top of the pile, and they are doing so with very good and intense creativity. You really think you can sing, write, act, organize, or even lead? So does someone else and that person most likely is pushing himself or herself to another level. Try and do the same, or better still, try and do better.

Your creative thinking should start by you asking yourself:

1.  What am I good at?

Then to:

2.  Can I be better at it?; and

3.  Can I be best at it?

Then you go to work to see how your creativity can be made to come to fruition, because it is possible. In fact, you must understand that creative thoughts are not exclusive only to rich and successful people. You too can have them and then push your life forward.

If you really want a better future and an excellent life ahead, you need to raise your game. And there's no question about that.

Are you ready to do so?

HEALTHY FINANCES

I don’t know about you, but almost all my life I've always envisaged having a very strong financial base that will ensure that I never have to worry about my next meal, or house rent, or electricity and water bill, or what to wear, etc. And without doubt, being able to handle issues that need financial solution helps to ease the pressure on one’s mind. It really helps.

Interestingly, I've come to find out that it’s not really about having a house full of money as it is about being able to handle whatever comes into your hand per time. And you must have heard me say before that money can never leave your hand without your permission except it is taken away from you by force. Please ponder on that statement for a little while. Money doesn't move around on its own except people make it to. If you leave it on your desk and step out of the room, you will come and meet it still there except someone else other than yourself has either moved it or taken it. So, without someone’s permission, money kept in a particular place will stay there. It will always obey the person in whose hands it finds itself. Money is just simply a tool.

On the backdrop of that, therefore, it’s very clear to me that am the one most responsible for my finances and not necessarily anyone or anything else. Yes, we can blame the economy or our family background or the kind of job we are presently doing or our spouses or whatever else, but when the power to make decisions concerning our finances lie with us, we actually have no excuse. All we really need is to develop personal healthy financial habits and we can be sure that in time we won’t be complaining much of not having enough money to handle this or that problem.

The first way, I believe, to healthy finances is that WE MUST ALL HAVE FINANCIAL BOUNDARIES. This is very compulsory. We must set an area within which we will operate our money. A budget is so very important yet many of us rarely give it a single thought. We somehow think it’s the exclusive preserve of Governments and companies in our country and around the world. Not so. A budget actually helps you to see first-hand how you fare with the money in your hand. And if you handle it properly, you can be sure you won’t have sorry stories to tell in future.

A budget isn't that complicated, and you don’t need to develop one in the magnitude of Governments and companies for yours to make sense. All you need is something very simple that captures your possible income and possible expenses over a period of time. It helps for planning over the next period and gives you some level of control. Yes, emergencies will occur, but that also can be factored into your budget.

Our budgets, if we do prepare them, fail basically because of a lack of commitment on our part to stick to our financial plan. We are often carried away by desires we hadn't originally factored into our budgets yet feel we desperately must assuage. I have often asked myself one question, “What if I really didn't have any money? Would I buy that item or spend on that matter normally?”  If your answer is sincere, you would notice that you may not so necessarily have any need for spending on that thing or issue at all. But our lack of commitment in this area is essentially fueled by either our ego or greed or some inordinate desire that really will not profit us in any way. I handle my ego on spending temptations by asking this question…. “Why must I buy something I don’t need with money I don’t have just because I want to impress people I don’t like?”

This is one very big cancer that bores into our finances and we rarely notice. I should know because I've been there before. Trust me, until you really get the financial freedom and independence you need that can help you handle certain expenses with ease, you have no business spending on a whim just because your ego says you must have a certain thing or look in a certain way so that certain people can give you a certain kind of respect. If that doesn't happen, you will always run into debt so that you can always keep up appearances. And that’s quite some tiresome venture, don’t you think?

Let’s get our commitment levels back in place. It’s the veritable place to start. And it doesn't matter if you've failed at having and keeping to a budget before, you just have to keep at it until it finally suits you well. Remember, you really have no point to prove to anyone (contrary to what some may think) because at the end of the day you’ll be the one who will either feel the comfort or the pain of your financial decisions.

Do kindly pause and ponder on these things....

TARGET PRACTICE

I am yet to see a person who is hungry and wants to eat but instead goes out into the rain and starts to jump all over instead of either heading to the kitchen to prepare his/her meal or even to a restaurant where meals are already prepared and waiting. I am yet to see a football team that wants to win against its opponents so eagerly yet chooses to score as many goals as it can into its OWN net instead of that of the opposing team. I am yet to see a person who believes that the very best way to drive a car is only backwards all through.

Do the above scenarios make any sense?

You may say no, yet some of us live out our lives in literally those fashions. We say we have dreams (and very big ones at that) of our future yet we are busy wasting time dancing in the rain, scoring against ourselves or even driving backwards all day; instead of taking planned and proper steps towards achieving those dreams.

This life is simple though. If you don't have a target, you can't aim.

We can't afford to live this life carelessly and yet expect to just somehow walk into that dream we are fantasizing about or the hope we have concerning tomorrow. How can you say you are aspiring to be a doctor or a pilot or an accountant or an administrator or anything else worthy of note and you don't have plans to go to school? How can you say you plan to be very stable financially in your life and you don't plan to learn about money? How can you say you will have one of the best marriages on the planet and you don't make any effort to learn and know how to treat your husband or wife?

We must all understand that having achievable targets is a top priority if we must achieve anything. We must also understand that it's not just enough to have a target, because you may have a target and still be missing the main mark because your aim is poor or your mind is blurred. We must understand that hitting the right mark takes plenty practice.

Ronaldo and Messi today are not two of the world's top footballers out of the blue. They both knew their targets but also constantly practiced their aims on those targets. They didn't just wish being at the top would just happen because even they knew that goals are like dreams and that we need to wake up and face reality. Reality means being able to hit the right target and to do that means constant practice, practice that will take your time, your effort and possibly even your resources. If you're not ready, you won't hit anything.

It's really not enough to dream. You need to get your dream into focus and begin to prepare yourself gradually on how best to get to it. And that takes serious practice. You should pause a while and ponder about this.....

THE ART OF LEARNING

Quite interestingly, this life for most part is what we make it. It is what we put into it that tends to produce what we'll get out of it. That's how it is and we can never run away from it. The seeds we sow come back to us moments later as fruits or trees or bushes of different types and kinds. If we cultivate the habit of savings regularly, we are guaranteed something worthwhile in our "financial" or "wealth" accounts years later. If we cultivate the habit of sowing love into the lives of others, we are guaranteed the huge possibility of receiving great love at other times years later. If we cultivate the habit of good leadership, we are guaranteed the possibility of great followership down the line years later.

However, in all of these and many more "balls" that life will constantly throw at us, one major thing is primary and key and anyone who fails to recognize it as well as fails to embrace it is guaranteed struggles as time goes on. It's called LEARNING.

Learning (or should I say CONSTANT LEARNING) is the most important key to life's profitable progress. How so? Well....

1. It increases your maturity to handle responsibilities. 

Your capacity to handle a particular situation is increased because you're constantly learning and improving yourself. Your knowledge base helps to increase your capacity and that in turn helps you to handle more responsibilities.

2. It increases your rest.

Increased learning will always put your mind at ease. You will hardly fret in the face of challenges coming because your learning has equipped you with tools that can be used to face what's coming. While others sweat with wonder as to how to handle a situation, you will not have to bother about that because you're fully secure in what you know.

3. It increases your authority

As constant learning keeps you ready for anything, it also keeps you ahead. It makes you an authority in whatever area you must have spent time learning and preparing for. Sometimes, you could end up being the very best in that sphere and that in itself speaks of authority.

4. It increases your opportunities

For sure, once you have increased maturity, rest and authority, you've set up yourself for increased opportunities. You'd be the most likely candidate people will point to when a solution in your field or area of expertise is needed. Why would people want to go somewhere else when someone who can handle more responsibilities, isn't fazed by challenges and is undoubtedly a force to be reckoned with is available (ie you)?

Learning drives progress and progress is the main thing that makes our whole lives worthwhile. If we aren't making progress we feel stuck and frustrated.

I don't know about you but I don't want a stagnated life and am surely eager to keep on learning so that I'll keep having progress. I think you should do the same because it's very much worth it.

Do please pause and ponder on that.....